The Man Rules

The Man Rules!

Rule 1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

Rule 2: It is ok for a man to cry under the following circumstances:

a. When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
b. Family members Death
c. After wrecking your boss' car.
d. Xbox gets the red ring of death

Rule 3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.

Rule 4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

Rule 5: When talking to another man on the Phone the call should never last more then 5 minutes.

Rule 6: Moaning about the brand of free pop in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. However, you may complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

Rule 7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional.

Rule 8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.

Rule 9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

Rule 10: It is permissible to drink a fruity drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's free.

Rule 11: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.

Rule 12: Women are not toys, and deserve respect, but that doesn't mean they can't make you a sandwich.

Rule 13: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever.

Rule 14: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.

Rule 15: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to eat as much as the other sports watchers.

Rule 16: Never hesitate to reach for the last pop or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.

Rule 17: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights:

a. Yeah, Baby, Push it!
b. C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
c. Another set and we can hit the showers!

Rule 18: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.

Rule 19: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.

Rule 20: Thou shall not buy a car or motorcycle in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.

Rule 21: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story.

Rule 22: There is no reason for guys to watch Men's Figure Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever

Nolan Out!

Card Stacker!

I felt I needed to shares this...!



Nolan Out!

We arn't sexist!!!!

I know it may seem that the blog is sexist sometimes..... but we aren't.....

Absolute Balderdash!

Dear Blog Readers this is an Important Blog post!

Pfffft! Yeah Right, Me? Serious? Bahahaha!

So this morning while I was looking through some old papers of mine I stubled upon some papers containing the answers from the game Absolute Balderdash... If you don't know what Absolute Balderdash is well go look it up NOW!

Anyways here they are! I would also like to point out that these are real answers I've gotten while playing

• Acronym: S.A.I.
  

Society for Artificial Intelligence
Sasquatch Assassins International
Supreme Association Of Independence
Sudden Atmospheric Ionization
Social Accountability International

• Word: Twangdillo

Blue Grass playing animal with a protective outer skin.
A fourteenth Century game where archers would drink alcohol and shoot at peasants.
Peaknuckle rhymes with Twangdillo(It's kind of like a caterpillar).
A gofer that sings country music.
The sound made by playing a Ukulele.
Armadillos Cousin from the west.

• Acronym: W.O.O.C

Wookies Organization Of Constipation
Wyoming Orthodontist and Orthopedics Co-op
Watermelon Oxidation Organization of Candor
Women Opposing Open Criticism
Wildly Over Obese Canadians
Washington Organization and Operation Comittey

• Dates: January 11, 1974

The day the Macintosh computer company was established.
The day the out house was invented.
The day Lynyrd Skynyrd wrote "Sweet home Alabama".
The launch of the fastest cruise ship in History: The Princess Anne.
17 years and 7 days before my best friends birthday.
The day the Hippie Chicks burned their bra's.
The day Waldo got arrested and got deported out of Spain.

• Word: Splacknuck

Is the sound of taking a dump off a cliff.
The sound that is made when Chuck Norris punches you in the spleen.
The sound of a Norwegian fishing boat as it hits the dock.
A person or animal of odd appearance.
The sound a duck makes when it gets hit by a car.
The term used to describe hands are wore to the bone, Or when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks the alphabet

Well thats is my Absolute Balderdash for the night!

Nolan Out!

Dear money:

Oh money, why must you always have to be a part of my life? I work for you, and you just end up leaving me....again....and again......AND AGAIN!!! I can see why money is the root of all evil. Also, did you know that money is one of the most dirty things you will ever come in contact with? All in all, I think money is a horrible thing. Something that has plagued society for far too long. I therefore am willing to take all of your money off your hands and dispose of it for you! I know it might seem hard to grasp that I would do so much for you, but its for your benefit.....I assure you :D
Also, I know I pump the blog as much as I can, but seriously we bloggers are working very hard on A Blog of Super Awesomeness 2.0. The launch time has not yet been released....but more details should soon be released. Also, tell some people! We want to entertain you and get important stuff out there, but that's hard with no viewers. So tell some people, and give some input!

Peace!

There's A 200 Character Limit

Blast it all!

There's a 200 character limit on for the tags! I had like 2,000! An entirely epic post had to be condensed into practically 2 lines!

Google is pagan.

I Dig Palaeontology. What?

So I was looking for a random word. A random longish word. Nothing like the non-abbreviated form of Teflon. Now that's a word.

Palaeontology. The study of ancient life.

What is technically "ancient"?

To me 17 is "ancient".

Is there a precise dating system?

Genesis 1:1 - 1 A.D. = Ancient
2 A.D. - Present = Just Freaking Old

Maybe.

In other news, blog etiquitte is a subject that should never become news but, in other new, has become news.

What?

Oh. Yes. Blog etiquitte.

-

Rule 1: Don't post twice in a row. This is obviously just a desperate attempt to either A) fill a post quota or B) Get lots of attention and become the favorite blogger.

Rule 2: Never slander another blogger. Stupid rule.

Rule 3: Never say words that could be offensive to the reading audience. That's a load of SPATULA.

Rule 4: Do not try to sway the poll in a positive direction towards oneself, Nolan. (Also, never break Rule 2. The stupid rule.)

Rule 5: Don't make your blog post have massive pictures of Shania Twain or fecal waste. (This is a fairly new rule)

Rule 6: Don't rate your own posts. That's deception!

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On the subject of tags (no not the amazing dog [one person {maybe two} may actually get this. The rest of you can guess]), why don't we use them? I mean, we want people to Google random things like, I dunno, Hippo racing (a few people will get this and one of them might be either A) flattered or B) screaming for recognition), and actually find the blog.

Head phones keep my ears warm *Little Heart Emoticon*

Hoomschooler Song

Nolan Out!

Who's This Nolan guy?

Hello humble servants and those who I consider less then servants!

I have returned from a long journey that I have taken across this country we call Canada, more specifically Northern Ontario it is a very vast place with scatter civilization here and there, and most of these towns or "Outpost" as I sometimes like to call them consist of very few people, some of these places having barely enough people to even be consider a town. Krikland lake for example, in 2006 population, according to Statistics Canada there was 8,248 and everyone there thinks I'm a German, A GERMAN... I'm Russian for goodness sake's... *Sigh*

This is a picture of downtown Kirkland Lake, and yes I used Google to get it, I to lazy to take my own

My last week of existence on planet earth consisted of me doing nothing at all. You think I'm exaggerating but I'm not. I slept for at least 12 Hours a night and took naps, watched TV/Movies, Or sat doing nothing during the day. Although it is worthy to say that I did walk across Sault Ste. Marie, yes for hose of you who don't know I was staying at my camp which is just less then an hour out of Sault Ste. Marie. During this excursion I ate lots of fast food and paid for my cousin Jon for two whole days, he had "lost" his wallet. Oh! Don't worry he found it the day I came home to Sudbury!

Well that has been my welcome back post!

I hope to post like almost every day this week to make up for the lack of Nolan..!

Nolan Out!

Gahhhhh

So school tomorrow morning.... I will miss the oh so pleasant time that is summer. What shall I do with so little time on my hands? I guess I'll be more productive from now on.... But being productive is often overrated. Either way, I have to get up early in the morning. So despite my dismay and lack of wanting to go to bed. I bid thee all farewell! for tomorrow, I dine.....IN
SCHOOL!!!!(said as King Leonidas)

Hmmf.

Hey, so today I went to Orientation at Heritage College with Bea. Turns out her room mate likes Reba, which is one of my favourite shows hahaha. Gingers. She was a good roomate though, one of the friendlier of the crowd. ALTHOUGH we soon had a rivalry after an intense match of "Steal the Bacon" where I violently pushed her out of the way and won! Unfortunatly she didn't share my joy...

So last night I took the biggest dump, and I'm staying at these peoples house who are SUPER tidy, and so I took this giant dump and it has refused to go down... So I left it! AH! It's really awkward.

Beatrice's other dorm mate is from Huntsville who's 6'1" and her boyfriend who's been homeschooled all his life and is in college at home through Liberty University is 6'5"

I thought it was pretty funny.

Anyway that was my day, i'm super exhausted now and plan on napping

Appologies, but its for the greater good.

G'day all you readers out there! University is upon us, and along with it comes the legion of potentially awkward social encounters that always spawns from large groups of people!

So while i've been fighting that with tooth and claw, I've also been planning the next iteration of this site... call it Awesome 2.0

Soo yeah, we all realize that the posts here have been... Somewhat sub-par lately. (Both in terms of quantity and quality), but soon enough you will all be basking in the full glory of the new website! It's navigation panel alone will radiate with the awesomeness of 3 dozen suns!

So until then... Enjoy us being lazy with our posts!

Best Error Ever

So this is why Final Fantasy 14 is such a hard game to run...

Behold they come!

So as the school year kicks off....(well at least for you high school people, I haven't started yet muahahahahaha!) People are moving away from home for their first year of post-secondary education. For many this is a time of freedom, a time to spread their wings and see how they function under their own power. For other its a terrible nightmare! For me it was incredibly exciting. First time in my own apartment, and complete control over what I could and couldn't do. Of course this means an immense amount of responsibility as well. I suppose that it largely depends on the person, their age, and gender as to whether they are excited or dismayed about leaving. Either way, many have moved and I wish them luck in their new abodes.....and for those of you who are lucky enough to be in dorms........GOOD LUCK!!!!
























In other news, I have spent the last week being lazy and doing nothing. You should try it sometime its rather useless :p

Is it Possible to Make an Entire Blog Post Inside The Title. Or is There a Word Limit Perchance? Perchance is a Funny Word. This Might be Actually Ann

oying.

Ah crap.

Word limit.

College Roadtrip!

As it is Right Now

MY Mohawk. The front grew like an inch while the back pathetically falls behind.... So I have like the weirdest mohawk ever... Well not really, but it bothers me.. Just like the wallpaper.

Yesterday in English class we were given a short story to read, it was rather strange. It was set in the late 1800's in an old house. A young couple had just moved in and were set up in the top room. Now the class assumed that the house was a previous Insane Assylum, because the room had scratched and bite marks all over, and the wallpaper was half ripped off.

So you go through this story and basically all that happens is the woman sees "creeper ladys" in the wallpaper. Then as she slowly goes insane she sees them all over. Suddenly she believes she is trapped in the wallpaper and frantically rips it all off. When she does she crawls around the floor like a "Creeper lady" her husband comes in and faints and thats how it ends.

REALLY wierd.

IPOD TOUCH WITH FACETIME IS OUT!!!!!! CHECK IT

gekfpswhrngjdfyhrkfysnemgkcusb

Abraham Lincoln has been kidnapped by a vampire posse.

Dear John

As I sit here my mother is watching Dear John. There's a yellow Gameboy Colour in it, and the kid holding it definitely has tourettes.

My mom is reaaaaally bad at watching movies, she's seriously talked through 80 percent of the small portion she's watched.

Anyway today I got my courses changed for good. The selection I got is ok but it's not what I exactly waaaanted. First period I have Drama... it's a 4U course though so it's actually useful haha, and then I have 4U art and then 4U english. THEN A SPARE!

4U means Grade 12 University just incase it confused anyone haha

My second semester I have a third period spare. Gross.

It's almost as gross as this movie...

ANYWAY....I'm going to leave you with some MLIA

http://mylifeisaverage.com/

Today I read a bunch of MLIA`s about people who did cool/strange things as a kid. So, I asked my Mum if I did anything interesting as a child. She said that I got suspended from 1st grade because I (being the only one in my class with long golden-blonde hair) told all the girls that I got my hair from cutting all my old brown hair off, put it under my pillow, and the Hair Fairy gave me my blonde hair the next morning. The next day 5 girls came to school with very short bad haircuts. MLIA.

Our summer reading book this year was Wuthering Heights. I was having trouble getting through it, so I started reading it in a British accent. I made it through successfully and quickly, and I feel very confident about my test tomorrow. MLIA.

My 3 year old brother, my mom and I went to the grocery store yesterday and we were looking at a box of cocoa puffs. My brother picked it up, screamed. I asked him why he was screaming. He said that he was coo coo for cocoa puffs. Everybody just stared as I started cracking up. It made my day :) MLIA

As you can see, MLIA is a site where people just post random and silly things that happen to them during the day. Check it out!

Average word of the day:

please

Yesterday, I was with my friend, and we were hanging out around town. Crossing the road, we passed an elderly man. He had just walked out of the post office... holding a cantaloupe. I still want to know what he was doing in there. MLIA

To sum it all up.