Friends and Citizens, today we come together to celebrate another successful demonstration of that democratic process that we all hold dear. In a display of the voice of the common people (and might I add of incredibly good taste) I have been nominated as your most popular speaker at this... "website" was it?While I attest that I don't recall ever publishing an article to this fine establishment, I assure you all that I am nonetheless equally as grateful for everybody's show of good faith in the electoral process.
Since I have been given new life (And a, to use modern vernacular, "frikkin sweet" firearm to replace my arm!) I have made every attempt to be the same Man of honesty that history records me of being. With your support at my back, soon we will see this nation returned to its former glory!
Oh, yes, and also, please vote for the Cyborgs With Large Guns party during your next national election.
Thankyou, and Godbless
Abraham Lincoln
