Abraham: The true past..

Seven-score and five years ago I was at the prime of my presidential career; then, unexpectedly, a strange yet prodigious thing came to be. I was attacked.. not by the one known as John Wilkes Booth; nay, someone else...something else, a creature; not quite human but not quite animal. At first I was worried, not for my own well being, but for the well being of my country; Americans strong and brave. If such a creature would be released into society, mankind as a whole would be threatened by an infestation of death, dreaded slavery, and tyranny. So I made a decision. I decided that instead of leading my country politically, I would protect it. I would be doing a greater service to my country by saving them from these creatures than by representing their interest as President.

The opportunity to change my life came abruptly. One night while attending Our American Cousin at Ford’s theatre, which was a delightful play by the way, a young man named John Wilkes Booth, who was also one of these creatures, made an attempt at my life. I lived, but upon the incident I decided to make it known to the public that I had in fact perished at the theatre so that I could pursue my hunting of these creatures without risking innocent minds of the knowledge of these creatures’ existence. Ever since I have been hunting these creatures, even today. These days they are commonly known as “Vampires,” stalkers of the night; disguised as humans being, but nothing alike.
I, Abraham Lincoln, 16th President of the United States of America, am alive and well, hunting Vampires and other forms of evil for the past 145 years, protected by divine powers, but lives in shadow, and although may not be completely accustomed to present day societal life, I will not rest until the evil in this world is vanquished and it’s people living in unequivocal peace.